I can feel my body pulling my soul to sleep. My flesh is tired. It’s as if cold water has doppled me somehow. 

I just wana give up sometimes.

I do. I sometimes do. I just be like a leaf that could be flown by the wind whenever, wherever.

But there is one thing that I hold on to everyday, just like a leaf that’s held on so long to its branch, I have always hold on to love.

I hold on, primarily, because of my love for my family. I am far from being the perfect daughter. Yet I’ve always aspired to be one. I am afraid of constantly walking to the path they have determined for me, yet I am more afraid that if I track my own I lose them. But I would never lose them, I know… I may lose the benefit of them but never them. 

How can I give up when they never gave up on me?

I.. get tired of smiling sometimes. Growing-up, there should never be crying at home, no crying because of first love’s heartaches, no crying because of a lost chance, no crying because of non-excellent grades, I was taught to be stronger. My father would always say I have his blood in my veins, and he failed so many times, seven in particular, and he never gave up… so I can never give up. Every failure, no matter how much it hurt, was just a temporary setback.

But I get tired of smiling, too.

Yet again, God sends me people in my life to give me a certain kind of hope, to give me a certain kind of miracle. This person could be a friend, could be a stranger, could be someone in between, or someone who’d mean more. Some people just come at the right moment, in the right place, say the right words. It’s as if I am about to fall down and there’s a person to catch me or to put the cushion in, in luckier instances, stop me from falling.

When I get tired, someone just gives me something to believe in. How can I ever give up?